Kindlelife

Insight, Inspiration, Motivation

Dreams and Dreaming


Just completed a one day workshop with Marcia Weider, America’s ‘Dream Coach’. What a great experience that was! Thought I would share some of the insights I had, from what Marcia said, at the workshop.

First of all, the idea that dreaming is bad – Marcia has spent 30 years teaching people to dream, and to do it well. It is not the dreaming that is bad.

Dreaming without strategy makes it just a fantasy . In other words, it is not enough to dream, not matter how big your dream is, but it is very important to take action – one step, however small- towards it, to make it work. This will open up the resources and the opportunities, that will help you realize your dream.

Most of us spend our lives with one foot firmly planted in ‘Reality’ and the other one in ‘Doubt’. We need to make the shift, and slide our feet so that one foot is now in our ‘Dream’ and the other one is in ‘Reality’, our present state, from which we can take our first action.

This does not mean that Doubt is a bad thing at all. The doubter within is actually the protective instinct, trying to warn us of what could go wrong. It does not help to suppress or ignore this voice, because it will not go away, if we do this. It will get louder if ignored, and if suppressed, it will get soft, and sabotage silently. The only way to deal with doubt is to face it, acknowledge it, and strategise for all the potential problems that it raises.

Some ‘doubts’ are mere beliefs, which are clearly not true (for example, the belief that many people hold, that “I am not worthy”). Then, there are doubts that require strategy to overcome. For example, the idea that there is not enough time. If a person decides to make one hour each day by cutting down on an unnecessary,time-wasting  activity  will get 7 hours a week and 365 hours a year!

Marcia also spoke about Integrity – ie, living your life on purpose. If we do not live our lives doing what is meaningful to us, utilizing our unique gifts, and being of service with those gifts, then we are not living a life of integrity.

When we live a life of integrity and believe in ourselves, dreaming will come easily to us. Dreaming means believing in something, simply because it matters to you.

So, what is your dream? What are the doubts that threaten you? what is the one step you can take, to commit to making your dream a reality?

 

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August 26, 2012 Posted by | Personal Journey, Psychology, Self Improvement | , , , , , | Leave a comment

Failure


If one were to make a list of all the missed opportunities in this world – opportunities missed simply because of a failure to act – this list would perhaps be longer than Santa’s list of kids! How often do we fail to act on an idea and then almost want to hit ourselves when we see somebody else benefit from having done exactly what we did not? Everybody, even those people who seem perfectly self-confident, have their own insecurities and list of lost opportunities.

I listened to a speech by the great Randy Snow, who won the silver medal in the 1984 Paralympics for the 1500 metre wheelchair race, where he admitted to having listened to the inner(doubting) voice which said, “what if you exhaust yourself” at the most defining moment in that race. He said that to the end of his life, he would regret that he did not listen to the voice of the inner champion instead (which asked him to sprint ahead to the first spot) and would never know what could have happened.

The fear of failure is a very powerful deterrent that often stops people from doing what they want. The truth is that nobody is free of wants, and nobody could really be unafraid either. So, how is it that a few people are able to overcome the fear and go after their dreams, while most settle for less?

Different people perceive failure differently. Those who intend to succeed will not take failure too personally. Thomas Edison made the light bulb only after a  thousand attempts.  When he was asked, “How does it feel to have failed a thousand times?” he said, “It was a success with a thousand steps”. What a liberating concept! It was the attempt that failed – not the man.

Similarly, if somebody refuses to buy a product or service you are trying to sell – it could just mean that this particular product or service does not match their particular needs at this particular time. It does not have to mean that they reject you. You make the choice to think what you want – of yourself and of others.

Successful people also are very clear about what they want – whether it is a measurable goal (as in business or other achievements) or just the pleasure of doing what they enjoy (as in the creative pursuits like writing, music and arts). They do not think consciously of success, but on the contrary, they focus on exactly what they want, and go after it with a passion. Success, as the rest of the world perceives,  inevitably follows.

Ultimately, nobody ever became successful without having made mistakes. The smart ones learn quickly and try again – and again. It is certain that if you don’t try, you will never succeed. The only chance you have is if you try so there is no sense in not trying. If you do fail, “Join the club”! You’re all the better for trying.

As Randy Snow said, “There is nothing wrong with living a silver medal life if you’ve made a gold medal effort”.

January 15, 2011 Posted by | Self Improvement, Uncategorized | , , , | 3 Comments

   

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