Kindlelife

Insight, Inspiration, Motivation

Burnout – FAQs


In my last post, I answered one important question that physicians often ask, when the question of looking after themselves is brought up.

Another question that was asked of me recently, was this: “OK, so, I recognize that I am burnt out, but it is such work (sic) to get help! When I think of seeing a coach/counsellor, I worry that they are going to give me ‘homework’ and that is added burden to my already burnt-out life! So, I prefer to just go on, hoping that things will get better. Isn’t it better to do that, than to jump into something (coaching) and then halfway across, find that I am treading on thin ice, and then be unable to turn back?”

Quite a poignant point, don’t you think? Well, there are many points raised in this question, which I shall try and address.

The first point is that it is, of course, important to recognize burnout – but what is more important is to figure out, what is it costing you to stay in status quo??? If you are already aware of your situation, then either you are very self-aware, or something is already going wrong, in your life/career. Chances are, based on the question, that the latter is more likely. What is the price you pay, for not fixing the problem? Is it discontent at work, disrupted relationships – with colleagues/family members/friends, lack of time for self, illness-physical or psychological, or is it lack of recreation time, or a lack of well-being? How badly does this affect you, make you unhappy? How badly do you want to change this situation? Once you figure out the value of change, and if that value is big enough, then you will have the motivation to change.

The idea of “hoping that things might get better” is really hoping against hope, if you do nothing about it. You cannot sit on the sidelines of your life, and ‘hope’ for things to get better. It just doesn’t seem to happen, at least, not with any reportable frequency!

As far as coaches giving you ‘homework’, I think the term itself conjures up a very negative emotion! While most coaching sessions end with the client making a commitment to an action towards their stated goal, it is entirely upto the client to decide how they want to get to the goal, and what the reasonable action is, to get there. For example, if a person decides that they want to have a positive attitude at work, a simple step towards this goal would be to become aware of one’s thoughts/speech, at least a few times during the day, and if it is negative, replace it with a positive thought. Writing things down would make this exercise more effective.

This does involve some work, indeed, but if the motivation is to change one’s thought pattern, and if you want it badly enough, then you cannot help noticing your thoughts, and you would not consider this as unpleasant ‘homework’. The only way to change your life is to change something that you are doing – to that extent, there is homework to do. There are habits to change, and this can only happen with conscious action, done repeatedly.

The idea of turning back is interesting. The whole point of starting a new program is to make a significant change for the better in life. People only do this when they feel unhappy enough with their current lives. Any change, however, is a step towards the unknown. It is a step outside your comfort zone. And a person would only do that when their current situation is uncomfortable or unsatisfying. To expect things to e easy is rather naïve. When considering the idea of turning back, the question is – towards what? The same situation you were turning away from in the first place? What good would that do? Most worthwhile successes in this world have happened when people have stuck it out just past the point where they wanted to turn back! So, one can only start knowing fully well that any change is going to cause some discomfort, but it will be worthwhile in the end.

Please send me any questions/suggestions you have, that I can address in future posts.

 

 

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May 28, 2013 Posted by | Personal Journey, Psychology, Self Improvement | , , , , | Leave a comment

   

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