Kindlelife

Insight, Inspiration, Motivation

Time for Reflection and Renewal


Christmas is gone, the New Year is fast approaching. What better time for self-reflection and renewal can there be?

Confucius said, “By three methods we may learn wisdom: first, by reflection, which is noblest; second, by imitation, which is easiest; and third, by experience, which is the most bitter.”

How does one go about this process? How does one know it is being done ‘right’?

The important thing is to set an intention. Then, set the stage, to quieten one’s mind, by putting aside about three uninterrupted hours for oneself. Create a space – where one can sit, without any distractions – a clean space, without any clutter, and those who like it can further enhance it with candles or whatever else they like.

As for the process itself, the first thing to do is, take stock of one’s life. I usually do this under different headings including physical, mental, emotional, financial, career, spiritual, family, friends, community, etc. I also specifically look at what went well in the last year and what could have been better.

If there are any experiences that are strong enough to still produce a significant emotional response, then try to work through them, by first acknowledging the emotion. It is important then to ask oneself some ‘smart’ questions, in order to understand the experience better, and to work through the lessons therein. If the experience was a negative one, and we want to improve things, then it makes sense to understand what made it a negative experience, and what needs to happen to make it better. The most important thing is to recognize our own role in the creation of that experience, and what we need to change within ourselves to create a positive experience in the future.

It stands to reason that one must be honest with oneself for this kind of reflection to work, if one is doing it without the help of a coach or a friend who can be objective. Writing things down is a great way to reflect, since one cannot deny what one has written, when reading it again later, no matter how surprised one may be!

Writing often helps to clarify matters a great deal. It is important that the writing be spontaneous and not edited, for good lengths of time, so that the subconscious mind has enough time to express itself.

Ultimately, it is imperative that one makes a plan, for all the reflection in the world does no good if no action is taken. The plan has to be as clear, as specific and time-bound as possible, with smaller steps laid out for bigger goals, and rewards also specified for achieving milestones.

Accountability is the one thing that is often forgotten, in all the goal setting that is done, and sets apart the 5% who are successful, from the rest! A life coach offers the best possibility of accountability, but in the absence of one, the best way to make oneself accountable is to have structures in place to counter any possible obstacle to following the plan. Obstacles may include lack of motivation, resources, time, energy… you name it. One has to foresee what these are likely to be, based on one’s lifestyle, and put in plans to overcome these as they arise.

While such detailed reflection and planning can be done at the end of the year, self-reflection ideally should become a daily habit, and will bring great rewards, if practised regularly, especially along with regular journaling.

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December 30, 2012 - Posted by | Personal Journey, Psychology, Self Improvement, Spirituality and Religion | , ,

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