Kindlelife

Insight, Inspiration, Motivation

Self-Reflection


I was talking with a friend about self-reflection today, and he said, “well, a person can reflect on things that have happened, and easily justify his own actions, even if what he is doing is clearly wrong. So, how does self reflection really help him become a better person?”
Good question, indeed. Isn’t this what we do most of the time? We come away from any conflict, and go on and on about how upset we are about how somebody treated us, or how wrong the other person was. We keep talking about it to anybody who will listen, for days, months, sometimes even years afterwards, whenever an occasion presents itself in conversation.
The real question, however, is – what is the purpose of the ‘reflection’. Whom are you doing it for? Whom do you want to convince the most? What do you wish to achieve? If, after justifying yourself, you feel good, then there really is nothing to worry about, is there? Ultimately, we need to be at peace, and if you are at peace, then that is good.
When you do ‘self-reflection’, it is exactly that. The reflection is for yourself, on yourself. It is an honest look in a mirror that does not distort the image. It reflects both right and wrong actions and attitudes. A person who is unwilling to face what is reflected in the mirror, often does not go through with the process.
In order to take an honest look at oneself, one has to first acknowledge that one is human, and as capable of making mistakes as anybody else. It takes courage to acknowledge one’s ego, preconceived notions, or fears. Then, it is important to believe that ‘this doesn’t make me a bad person and that I am as deserving of love and forgiveness as anybody else’.
Finally, and most importantly, one must be willing to change – for once we identify something we are doing that produces an undesirable result, then we should be willing to change.
The best part of the whole process is that as soon as we acknowledge our willingness to change, we begin to see what we can change, and things automatically start to get better. Self-reflection becomes easier.

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August 28, 2011 - Posted by | Personal Journey, Psychology, Self Improvement

4 Comments »

  1. I’m reminded of the phrase “new level new devil” 🙂 The closer you get to resolving an issue the easier self-reflection is, but for me, once I find the next pattern I want to change – finding the belief that no longer serves me that goes with it can initially be very difficult.

    Once you have the tools (and coach!) to help you through – you definitely have more faith that you’ll work through that old pattern with a little time, work and, of course, self reflection 🙂

    Great post!

    Like

    Comment by Evie | September 8, 2011 | Reply

    • Thanks, Evie,
      You’re right, it’s a constant battle. Even reaching the stage where you want to change a pattern is a great first step, though.
      Self reflection is a habit that has to be consistently cultivated.
      Thanks again.

      Like

      Comment by kindlelife | September 8, 2011 | Reply

  2. Self-reflection and meditation are an important part of my life… but I often find that to resolve certain problems, self-reflection is not enough; I have to talk it out loud, even if no one really listens 🙂 . Often if I hear the problem uttered out loudly, I see it in a different light and the solution “descends upon me”…

    I believe, though, that self-reflection is a key to conscious living. I believe it was Socrates who said “An unexemined life is not worth living”… Self-reflection and meditation are keys to “waking up” and realizing our mortality… and our uniqueness… and hence appreciate life for what it is – a true miracle.

    Like

    Comment by E.G. Sebastian | September 15, 2011 | Reply

    • Hi, EG,
      Thanks for your comments.
      Talking out loud certainly helps. Personally, I would prefer journaling, because the thoughts can be recorded rapidly, and then examined later, to look t recurring themes/patterns.

      Like

      Comment by kindlelife | September 22, 2011 | Reply


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