Insight, Inspiration, Motivation

Tests of Strength

 “Every time you learn all the answers, they go and change the questions.”  This was a joke I read a long time ago, that resonated with me a lot as a young student. Lately, I have started feeling that way again, as I try to navigate my way through life as well. The more I try to analyse, coach myself, and figure things out, the harder the tests seem to get.

My last post, for example, was about observing, not judging. When I read that, I believed I had found a gem. When I wrote it, I believed I had learned it. I practised it even – for a day or so. But then…

Can you imaging, how often I have caught myself judging in the days since I wrote it??? I have passed judgements on the guys running for elections. I do have to vote next week, and at times, I have been harsh with my judgements. Having been in a leadership role myself, and knowing how difficult it is, I should know better. Observation would still help me make a decision on whom to vote for.

How can I not judge people who do sloppy work around me – that have a negative effect on patient care, or cost the system huge amounts of dollars? How can I not be angry at the bus driver who was rude to my neice? I certainly had to express my opinion about the Royal family, when the gossip turned to their past failures (although in this case I was judging the people who were judging them)!

The only good thing has been that I have caught myself judging, either while I did it, or soon after. Whenever I caught myself doing it, I made it a point to tell myself  “I am not judging – I am observing.” The intention was to take the negative emotion away from the opinion. That was the least I could do. Some would call it damage control. Some would call it ‘baby steps.’ I have been able to catch myself before doing it too – a few times.

Eventually, I hope to not have to catch myself at all. I hope to make observation THE habit.


May 2, 2011 - Posted by | Personal Journey

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